Green & Gold by Lianne La Havas

"I'm looking at a life unfold

Dreaming of the green and gold

Just like the ancient stone

Every sunrise I know

Those eyes you gave to me

That let me see

Where I come from"

Lianne La Havas!!  Beautiful, soulful, Lianne La Havas.

Dreaming of that green and gold and knowing where we come from. When are the moments we accept who we are and who we have become? I know, it's not this grand moment that just happens and stays with us. We have so many filters to work through that include our ego, sense of self, and insecurities. But those moments...those moments when we are so fully ourselves, so fully expansive and not tied down by any kind of barriers that block us from our truth.

I was talking about this idea in different iterations throughout the week. Think. Just think about the moments you are expansive. A few for me?

• performing...whether it's storytelling, singing, acting 
• playing music 
• reading books 
• writing stories 
• watching a beautiful movie
• laughing hysterically with my loved ones 
• watching performances 
• getting my feet on a beach and that first touch of sand 
• traveling and seeing worlds beyond myself

It's a trip, being able to go beyond the ego that gets us stuck in certain ways of thinking. It took me some time to get to this point in life. And of course, there are moments when regress.

You know what I want? I want those moments of regressing to begin minimizing and those moments of expansiveness to start just becoming the new normal. Isn't that a wild thought? And I know it exists out there. I've met people who are so grounded and rooted. I always want to stay close to them. They have figured out how to stay calm amidst the chaos, to go beyond themselves, to be in service to others. It's so humbling and beautiful to witness. I'm picturing those music videos or movies where someone is completely still while everything is moving around them. And they are not effected by the action. There are so many entry points people use to get to this place:

• meditation
• prayer 
• the ability to surrender
• mindfulness 
• art
• following one's passion
• journaling 

I love all of these different practices. I guess the ones I feel closest to right now are art and journaling: using art to express, to create new worlds, to see beyond myself...writing to see what's really on my mind and to recreate stories.

Sometimes the exploration into where we come from can ground us too. I've been interviewing my father who is 78 years old. And as I have stepped outside of myself to interview him, I have been reminded of what a beautiful storyteller he is, what a lovely sense of humor he has and how he saw the world as a place of exploration as he grew up. He is part of where I come from.

"those eyes that you gave to me
that let me see
where I come from"

My friend, Shahana, talked about the essence we all have in us. I love the idea of essence...this kind of ethereal presence we can't bottle up or simplify. I have a sense of what mine is and I smile when it's able to permeate through my life. I have my parents and my ancestors who contribute richly. Now that's beautiful.

A few poems and song resonate lately with me:

"And always apologize when 
you've done something wrong.
But don't you ever apologize
for the way your eyes refuse 
to stop shining..."    Sarah Kay 

"I don't care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I shout if out like a bird set free"  Sia


"Let yourself be silently
drawn by the strange pull of what 
you really love. It will not lead
you astray."    Rumi


Beautiful...let's keep find the Green & Gold within each of us. Don't stress if you can't find it at first glance...it's in us and when that essence comes out...it is truly golden.

Green & Gold